Stupidity

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Stupidity!

Nothing...
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In the school grounds one randomly sunny day... its hot... but not too hot... if you know what i mean... im talking about the weather you weiro!! Draco: You know what guys... Goyle: What? Crabbe: mmmm, cheese... Draco: Harry Potter is such a git! Goyle: Cheese?? Crabbe: Where?? Draco: Yea, i know!! I mean, he's just so... so... infuriating!! Goyle: Dum didly dum Crabbe: dum dum dum Draco: You said it Crabbe... but i cant help but think... Goyle: Thats more than i ever did Crabbe: Wow... sentance... form!! Make joke!! Draco: You could just get lost in those eyes, couldnt you?? Those green eyes... so very green sighs and stares into space Crabbe: huh? Draco: But I musnt think like that... he is the enemy!! But that hair!! And his quidditch talent!! Goyle: Look Malfoy, it takes me a lot to put on this retarded guy persona, so will you hurry up and ask him out so you can stop trying to look better by comparison!! Crabbe: Yes, please do! Do you realise how superficial this is of you! And you look rather asinine anyway... Draco: Asinine?? Superficial?? Goyle: Oh Vincent, he just has no idea does he? Crabbe: No Gregory, shall we leave him to his girlish musings? Goyle: Ah yes, lets! To tea! Crabbe: Fare thee well Draco, Harry should be along any minute now, call us once you've been rejected... again! Goyle: Oh ha ha ha! Very witty Vincent my old chum, now, come along or we shall be late to meet Ronald, he's so sick of trying to make Harry look good! Crabbe: Ah yes, its such a shame Draco and Harry are so stubborn that neither will ask the other out... they would make a wonderful couple! Goyle: Oh! Wouldnt they just! Crabbe: Ah well, time to go cheer Ronald up, he was looking rather depressed last time i saw him! Its all that Potters fault! Goyle: No hun, thats just because he's been rejected by Miss Granger again Crabbe: Ooooh, not again, thats rather harsh! Goyle: Indeed, oh well, toodles Draco! Crabbe: Yes, must be off, good luck Malfoy old boy! Crabbe and Goyle walk up to the castle swapping witty anicdotes and using amusing and clever word plays Half and Hour Later Draco: What??
	Harry and Ron sat in the common room, last day of the xmas hols, Hermionie has just come back from her parents house Hermionie: Hey guys! Harry: Hey Hermionie! Ron: gurgles and spouts some incoherent jumble of words Hermionie: Aww, thats sweet Ron! Anyway sits down What did you all get for christmas then? Harry: Erm, a packet of chocolate frogs, some broom polish, couple of books you know, the usual, and thanks for the quill hermionie, mines almost down to the nib... Hermionie: Yes, i noticed that... how did you do that?? Harry: Well... I... I... Oh alright!! I confess!! I like the taste of feathers!! Is that so wrong!!?!? Hermionie: Erm... no Harry, its not... But this quill cant be digested so... Harry: Is that a challenge!? Hermionie: No Harry, its not, promise me you wont eat this quill! Harry: looking longingly at the feather Oh... alright! Hermionie: Good, now Ron, what did you get for christmas? Ron: more incoherent jibbering Harry: He got a gift certificate for a lobotomy Hermionie: Oh yes, that would explain all the drooling... Harry: He hasnt had it yet!
	Ron walks into the boys' dormitory to find harry shaking some white powder into lines on a book cover Ron: Harry! Harry: Ron! I can explain! Ron: I dont think there's anything to explain Harry... Harry: Its not what it looks like! Ron: Its exactly what it looks like! Harry: But... but... but... Ron: You swore you'd go clean! You swore! Harry: I know!! Im sorry! Im weak! WEAK!! breaks down crying Ron: Oh Harry... Look what you've become... look what this stuff's done to you! Harry: I know... but i just cant stop... you dont know what its like! It just gets you so high! So free!! Ron: Harry... You've had enough... you've got to stop... its the only way... you know im right... Harry: I know! I know... its just so difficult... i just love shurbert! Ron: I know man... We're gonna get through this together... Just put the rest of it in the bin and we'll forget this ever happened.. Harry: But... dont you wanna try some ron?? Ron: No! Doing shurbert is wrong! Do you realise how dangerous that stuff is??! Harry: Its not dangerous at all... Not if you're careful! Ron: Well... maybe just one... 5 Mins later Harry: whoa dude, i think i had too much, this sht is fcking strong!! Ron: Fck yea!! I cant believe i was ever against this!! Harry: hehehehehehe inanae laughter* Dude... i know passes out Ron: Dude... dude... wake up dude... ehehehehehe... duuuuuude!! Harry makes gargling noises and twitches a little Ron: Oh... fck... passes out* REMEMBER KIDS... DONT DO SHURBERT!!! do drugs..
	Ron is sat on an armchair in the griffindor common room, concentrating very hard on drawing on a pad of paper with a quill Harry: Hey ron, what ya up to?? Ron: Just drawing... Harry: Another one of your masterpieces Ron: Yep Harry: How much did your last one sell for?? Ron: Ł300 Harry: Wow.. well... i'll leave you too it... Ron: Wait... finished! Ron puts down his quill and turns the pad around to harry Harry: Wow... Ron... I dont know what to say... its amazing!! Ron: Thanks... i thought the colour for the tree might not be exactly right... but i think it works.. Harry: deffinetly! Pure genius man! Pure genius... Hermionie clambers through the portrait hole Hermionie: What you guys up to? Harry: Ron's just showing me his new work of art! Hermionie: Ooooh! Lets have a look! Ron: Oh, alright Ron turns his pic round to face hermionie Hermionie: Wow Ron.... erm... is that tree meant to be purple?? Ron: Yes! Ok?! Hermionie: And do horses usually have square heads... and sausages sticking out of them?? Ron: They're its legs!! Hermionie: Oh, sorry... but... dont you think its a little childish?? Ron: No! Harry: Ok, lets ask Neville for a second opinion.. Ron: Neville! Neville: What?? Ron: What do you think of this?? shows neville the picture Neville: Erm... did someones baby sister draw it?? Ron: No! It was me! Neville: Dude... i think you need some art lessons.. Ron: But... but... but... my last one sold for Ł300!! Neville: You paid someone to take it from you for Ł300... Ron: Exactly!! Hermionie: I think you've missed the point ron... Ron: Oh you can all just go to hell!! runs off crying hysterically Hermionie: Ok, so how much shall we sell this one for?? Ł2,000?
	Harry walks into the common room and sits next to Hermionie and Ron... his robes are burnt and his hair is still smouldering Hermionie: So... how'd things go with Dumbledore? Harry: Quite well actually! Hermionie: Did you pet Fawkes again?? Harry: No... I've learnt my lesson Hermionie: muttering Took you long enough... Ron: Then why do you look like an over cooked french fry?? Harry: Dumbledore had left his office on fire again...
	Harry is sitting in the common room finishing some Charms homework, Ron runs in Harry: Whats up Ron?? You look quite scared... Ron: I gasp... Snape gasp... see you! Gasp Harry: Ron, just catch your breath before you speak... 5 mins later Ron: Wow, im quite unfit arent i? Harry: Where did you run from?? Ron: Run? Harry: [sweatdrop] Ron: Anyway! Snape wants to see you in his office imediately! Harry: Jumping up Why didnt you tell me sooner!? Ron: I tried Harry! Harry: No time for appologies!! I've got to go!! Severus... I mean Snape needs me! Runs the length of the common room, vaults through the portrait hole, crushing an unwitting student behind the fat lady... UnwittingStdent: Ow... Oh, my good lady!... I always knew you liked me! Slides down the banister of the staircase... falls a couple of floors as they change... Harry: Ow my balls!!... I wonder why no one noticed that as a safety hazard before... Carefully trots down the final set of steps to Snapes office... wincing with every step... Harry: Finally! Knocks on door Snape: Enter... Mr. Potter Harry enters Harry: You wanted to see me Professer Snape, sir, corporal master of evil, general, lambchop... wait... strike that last one Snape: glares Harry: looks innocent Snape: Continues to glare Harry: Erm, sir... Please stop glaring at me... Snape: Sorry... I cant help it... you're so stunning... Harry: What? Snape: I said you're dense! Harry: Looks suspicious and freaked out Snape: Anyway, Mr. Potter... Harry... Can i call you Harry? Harry: Erm... yea... I guess Snape: I have called you here for a very important and um... private reason... glares a few minutes later Harry: Which is.... Snape: Dont interrupt me!! Harry: Sorry... Snape: Im just too embarassed to go to the hospital wing... you see... its a very personal matter... Harry: Erm, sir... perhaps you should talk to someone else... I... Snape: No Harry... Only you can help me... you seem to have the same condition... Harry: I do? What? Where? When? Why? How? Who? Snape: You see Harry leans in and whispers I seem to have some kind of growth... Harry: What? Snape: Its on my face... can you see it?? points Harry: Sir... Snape: Egarly Yes! Harry: Thats your nose... Snape: It is?! Harry: Yes... Snape: Wonderful!! Thats all I wanted!! You can go now... Oh, and send Ronald down while you're at it, we're coming up with ways to freak out a certain student! Harry: Goes back to common room Snape: Glares at door until morning In the middle of the night... Harry: Wait!!! He was talking about me!